Thursday, 19 May 2016

Back on Track...... Maybe!

I can't believe it's been a whole year since I last updated my blog.  I haven't been idle in the last twelve months at all. I've been busy getting my life, my head and my direction back on track. I think I'm as good as I am going to be for the foreseeable future.

I bob along on the surface of life. I feel like a swan most days, all calm on the surface but paddling like hell underneath. I know what my panic and anxiety attack triggers are and do my best to avoid them. It doesn't always work and sometimes the most surprising things can set off an attack. I often feel like a fraud as I try to be very happy and positive on the outside but very often I feel like I'm drowning and want to scream on the inside. I'm sure most people would never know how I feel inside. Oh, the masks we wear. Learning to live on my own has been a very hard lesson. I am ok and can manage all the things I need to do but the loneliness is a different matter. I am so glad I have my dog.
I'm not sure what direction my blog should be taking though. Is it OK for me to just ramble and put snippets of my life out here or should it have a real purpose and be more interesting? For the time being, it will remain a platform for me to ramble on.
What have I being doing in the last twelve months? Hmm, well, I started doing some voluntary work at Whittington Castle, I still do that. I work in the gift/second hand book shop. It means I get to look at all the new books as they come in and snaffle the good ones.

Original photo by AtticTapestry
I also found the most amazing space not four miles from home.  I took a detour on my way home one Saturday, as I'd heard there was a canal local, The Monty, as she is affectionately called. Not only did I find the canal but also the most amazing thing, a horse drawn canal boat. And, ever since I've been a voluntary member of the crew. It has helped me get into my 'Happy Place' more than the rest of the crew could ever realise. The gentle sounds of the canal, the water, the clip clopping of Cracker's hooves on the tow path, the birds, the sights and the smells. What more do you need? The boat, The Countess of Maesbury and Cracker are run by Tim and his dad, Dave from Bywater Cruises. Gill and Mike and their little dog, Daisy, are also volunteer crew. They have an amazing wealth of knowledge about the canals.
And, there is an amazing café right at the side of the canal. Canal Central, run by Iain and Fiona. Fiona makes the most amazing cakes and scones, all fresh, every day. The scones are served warm, with butter, cream and locally made jam. Tea is brought out in tiny teapots with the cutest tea cosies.
I have loads more to share but for now, this will do. More to follow in a few days.

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